The Anxious Therapist

I’m not going to vow to create a new me. That’s impossible… a waste of my time. I will not even try to recreate myself. Instead, I will better myself. I will grow. I will learn. I will laugh, cry, maybe punch a wall or two, and laugh more. I can’t be ME without everything I’ve been through, without each thought I’ve had, and each word I’ve spoken.

I will be thankful for what I already have and I will work hard for what I want. I will not waste my time wanting what others have. Envy comes from wanting something that isn’t yours.  But grief… grief comes from losing something you’ve already had. I will rejoice in what I have had, what I have, and what’s yet to come.

I will appreciate my struggles and acknowledge my blessings. I will learn to live my life by understanding my mistakes… by understanding how not to live them… by understanding how to live with them and not let them dictate future decisions. I will understand that “mistakes” are simply bad decisions I CHOSE to make, but of which got me to where I am today.

I will realize that we’re not all dealt the same hand of cards. I will play the best with what I’ve been dealt and be thankful that I was even given a hand at all. I will not  look around at others and think about how great they’ve got it; I will look at my life and acknowledge how great I’VE got it and be happy for those who’ve worked hard for what they’ve got. I’ll take lessons from those people.

I will confront the past I haven’t yet made peace with. I will stay close to the ones who lift me up and walk away from the ones who drag me down. Every person in my path was put there for a purpose, but sometimes that purpose has come and gone, and now they need to go, too.

I will try to say good-bye to relationships that cause more hurt than happiness… that take more than give. I will realize that sometimes it’s best to walk away with the memories of yesterday than it is to attempt to fight for those memories.  Too often we want to try to salvage what used to be, but sadly, don’t realize we’re polluting those memories with the unhappiness and struggles of today.

I will tell others how I feel. The only way to communicate is to find someone who can comprehend what you’re saying; the only way to be forgiven is to find someone who is willing to forgive. I will forgive. And mean it.

And I will be happy. Not because I truly believe that happiness is a choice and anyone can be happy in any situation, but because I will be genuinely, head-over-heels happy.